This Guy Is For Real!

My new doctor is a no nonsense kind of guy. He’s honest and direct. He would never blow sunshine up your ass, or lady part, as the case my be.

He conducted a series of physical tests that I had never had before. Using the sharp edge of a Q-tip, he poked my skin from my thigh down into my goods. As he got closes to my business the pain I felt became sharper and sharper. When he hit my origin of life, I almost shot off the table. Ouch!

When all the poking and prodding had ended, my doctor sat down with me in his office and explained what he thought was wrong with my area. He said he thought I had two major problems: pudendal nerve damage and weakness of the skin surrounding the opening. He said that one could exacerbate the other.

He said, “you’re not in great shape, because you have two complex problems that can effect each other, but I have seen many women in worse shape than you. I think we’ll be able to get you feeling a lot better.” He also explained that he didn’t like the term vulvodynia because it was entirely too broad.

“Painful intercourse syndrome,” that describes millions of women, but that doesn’t pinpoint a problem. Diagnosing a woman with vulvodynia is like diagnosing a corpse with death. Yes, we already know the person is dead, what was the cause of death? For example, I have pain with intercourse, which is caused, in part, by pudendal nerve damage.

My doctor prescribed Lyrica to help quiet the nerve, along with a narcotic to combat unmanageable pain flares. He also encouraged me to use my numbing jelly often because it could help relieve the burning on the skin. Finally, he told me that I should sit on a cushion whenever possible to relieve the pressure on my pudendal nerve. He gave me instructions on how to make a cushion out of a kneeling pad.

I was so happy to have new medicine and a doctor who seemed to really know what he was talking about. My doctor only sees women with some kind of chronic pelvic pain. He performs surgeries to correct various pain conditions. He really knows his shit and he’s tough as nails.