Finally Some Relief

The Clindamicin has made a big difference. My burning has dissipated to a tolerable level. I'm glad my doctor figured out the source and prescribed the right treatment. I was even able to get my monthly wax job!

I've learned that while it's good to monitor your symptoms, but for a diagnosis and treatment, I'm better off going to my doctor. For all I know, it was lactobacillus all along and there never was a yeast infection.

My doctor has a policy where you can be squeezed into the schedule on a given day for a yeast check. I didn't want to trouble my doctor or myself because I really thought I had it all figured out. In the end, I still had to go see him. Next time I think I have a yeast infect, I'm starting with him. Even if there's no yeast, he my see another explosion in the lactobacillus population.

Without a microscope and a wet prep, I can't make those determinations from home. Hmmm...

When Good Bacteria Goes Bad

I saw my doctor last night and he didn't see any yeast under the microscope, but he did see an overabundance of lactobacillus, the good bacteria that lives in your clam. This could be my body's response to yeast, or it could be something else entirely. In nornal people flora, or bacteria, fluctuations go unnoticed, but in someone with pudendal neuralgia the elevated level can cause a great deal of burning.

I'm taking Clindamicin for the next week to get the flora levels back to normal. Hopefully, that gets everything undercontrol. In the meantime, I'm very uncomfortable and the only relief I get is from a hot bathtub. Too bad I can't keep a bathtub at my job.

I'm Out of Ideas, Time to See a Professional

I thought the yeast infection idea was a good one. I seemed to get better after taking Diflucan, but this morning I was in buring, itching pain all over my area, from the top of my clit to the base of my vagina! How could I still have a raging yeast infection after 2 courses of Diflucan? What's really going on?

I made an appointment with my doctor for tonight. I didn't want to wait another day. This has been going on for a week and a half and today is the worst day. Today should be my best. I don't get it. Hopefully my doctor will be able to detect whatever is going on down there and get this flare under control.

This sucks!

Finally a Bit of Good News... In the Form of a Yeast Infection

Friday night, my man went out on the town and I had some quiet time to myself. I was in so much pain that night, I really thought it was ridiculous. I decided to whip out my trusty mirror and my halogen desk lamp to see what was going on down there.

I didn't expect to see anything, but that night I got a clue. There was a small amount of discharge (gross, I know) and I thought, "Oh thank God, it might be yeast! Please God, let it be yeast!" I took a Diflucan and got in the tub for a hot soak.

I assume the yeast infection started after the gym on Monday. I worked out really hard and got really sweaty. I've learned from experience that sweaty bits are often followed by yeast infections. Working out on Wednesday probably only exacerbated the problem.

By Sunday, I saw a good amount of improvement. Unfortunately, I had to work from home on Monday due to snow. I don't have any accommodations at home for my vulvodynia or pudendal neuralgia. I had to sit at a desk of most of the day. I took a second dose of Difluca that day.

I have a lot of burning today. Is it from sitting or is it a remaining flare from the yeast infection? Only time will tell.

Vulvodynia and Your Period: Not a Pleasant Combination

Just Another Bitch In Heat

There is no woman alive who enjoys having her period, but for someone suffering from vulvodynia, it can be much worse. It's difficult to find sanitary products that don't cause irritation and pain; and you have to use something.

There are plenty of days when I go without panties. It's much more comfortable, but I don't have that option when Aunt Flow pays me a visit. Obviously, panties alone are not enough keep my pink from turning red. Gross, I know.

I used to use Always with Wings, and long before I knew the pain of vulvodynia, my skin would get so irritated. I would break out into rashes, but I thought that was the way it had to be.

I started using tampons young and I learned quickly that Tampax is the most uncomfortable female product on the market. If there isn't enough fluid to keep a Tampax tampon moist, it rubs against the inside of you like sand paper. The worst part is trying to take a dry tampon out. It's like intentionally giving yourself ropeburn.

OB's with applicator are the way to go, but their not available everywhere, and frankly, I want an applicator. I don't want to walk out of the stall in my office bathroom and look like I just left a crime scene!

As my vulvodynia got worse, my choices grew more and more limited. My skin would become inflamed I used a tampon for too long. But if I just used pads, the excessive moisture would cause me to develope a yeast infection.

What could be better than closing out your period with a raging yeast infection?

A few months back, when I was searching the web for information on vulvodynia, I stumbled across Glad Rags. At first, I thought the website was a joke. The name is a little vulgar, even for me. I decided to give the product a try and I've been pleased. Glad Rags are reusable cotton pads that allow your skin to breathe. They're a little bulky, but so much easier on my hatchet wound. On their website, they even have a testimonial section from women with vulvodynia.

Now, Glad Rags are my first choice. But, if I'm expelling a great deal of baby juice, I use a tampon. While the tampon is more painful, and there's a greater chance I'm going to cause a flare, I just find the whole experience so disgusting that I'd rather deal with some pain than feel like I've sprung a leak.

It's never pleasant to have your period, especially with vulvdoynia, but I've found a way to make it slightly less miserable.

Anatomy of a Yeast Infection

I'm currently taking prerequisite classes in order to get into nursing school.  I've banged out the basic fundamentals, Anatomy & Physiology I & II and Microbiology.  I love what I'm studying and I now have a much more detailed understanding of some of my problems.  

As you know, lately I've been plagued by yeast infections.  They are just the worst.  When you're already so fragile down there, it's the most unwanted visitor.  Unfortunately, I know why Mr. Yeast took up residence in my snapdragon.  

I've been under a lot of stress, from my job, from my loved ones, from my body and one of the best parts about being a woman is your body really wears the signs of stress.  About 2 months ago, I started getting this horrible, painful, cystic acne.  (That REALLY helped with my stress!)  I tried being more active in my skin care routine, but I could not get it to clear up on my own.

I made an appointment with my dermatologist and he reminded me that the last time I came in with a serious case of pizza face was 2 years ago when I switched jobs and bought a new home.  Clearly, stress related.  My doctor decided to put me on the same antibiotic he had given me then.  

Here is the first problem: there are many possible microorganisms that are colonizing my face and causing the breakout.  The best treatment would be an antibiotic with a small range, targeting the specific cause of the acne and leaving other naturally occurring bacteria alone.  That's really not done in dermatology.  The common practice is to give the patient an antibiotic with a wide range.  Hopefully, this medication will wipe out the problem.  Meanwhile, because the drug has a wide range, it also kills off other important naturally occurring bacteria in your body.  

That's how we come to yeast.  Everyone has yeast in their snizes all the time, but your body keeps it under control.  There is a daily struggle between good bacteria that protects your body and bad bacteria that can be potentially harmful.  A course of antibiotics can wipe out the good bacteria in your honey pot.  Yeast is an opportunistic bacteria.  It seizes the opportunity when the bodies defenses are low and multiplies like there's no tomorrow.  

With a more specific antibiotic, this problem may not occur.  There are also prescription medications that can be taken in conjunction with a course of antibiotics like Nistatin or even Diflucan every 3 days for full duration of the medication.  Yogurt and Acidophilus can help too.  

I thought after the first treatment of Diflucan, I would be clear, but just a few days later the yeast infection I had was so much worse.  I strongly advise asking any doctor that prescribes you antibiotics to ask for a medication to protect your body during the course of treatment.   

Yeast Infections and New Directions

Well being sick was therapeutic, but taking antibiotics wasn't.  I wound up with a yeast infection towards in the last few days I was on amoxicillin.  That naturally caused a flare, which put a damper on Valentine's Day activities.  

I saw my doctor for a refill appointment last week and told him that I wanted to start a support group in the area.  He told me that he would hand out brochures and fliers for me.  So far I haven't heard from anyone, but it's only been a few days.  I hope I can generate enough interest.  

I think blogging and forums are so helpful, I can only imagine a support group would be even better.  I'm learning so much from other women's stories online and I want to share it with others.  Living with vulvodynia can make you feel so isolated and ashamed.  Having a tangible network of other women who understand could make such a difference.      

I finally dragged my kneeling chair to work and it helps.  I still have pain, but it's considerably better than sitting in a conventional desk chair.  Being lazy on Tuesday, I accidently tested the difference.  I had a lot of work and I needed to be incredibly focused.  I thought being comfortable would help, so I sat in a large desk chair.  After 3 hours I was so flared; it was awful.  I was planning to go to the gym and run errands after work, but all I could do was go home and recline to try and quite my pudendal nerve.  

The following day, I only used the kneeling chair.  I didn't go home in nearly as much pain.  

God, I don't know what happened to me in the last few months.  I used to go days and days without pain.  Now I'm lucky if I get a few hours.  It sucks.  I can't think of a better way to explain it.  

But I'm soldiering on.  I'm putting a lot of my energy into my class and trying to remain proactive in my care.  I'm thinking about switching from Lyrica to Neurontin.  There are considerably fewer side effects on Neurontin and on Lyrica, I have to deal with virtually ALL the side effects.  

My memory is terrible because of Lyrica.  I'm in the most important relationship of my life and there is so much I just can't remember from the past year.  It's embarrassing.  I feel guilty, but I can't help it.  Before Lyrica, I had a remarkable memory.  I could recreate every moment to the smallest detail.  Now it's a blur.  I've been in this drug-induced fog since January 2007.  Don't get me wrong.  I need the drugs.  They help make life livable, but I think I can do better.  At least I hope I can.  

Weight gain has also been an issue.  I've probably gained 30 pounds in the last year.  I've always been on the slight side and 30 pounds is a lot.  The weight completely changed my figure.  While I liked having boobs for the first time in my life, I didn't like the rest of it at all.  

I've been going to the gym for 4 months and that's helped, but I'd like to lose a few more pounds.  Maybe changing drugs will make that a little easier.  

Then It Got Out of Control

Within two days of my first sexual encounter, I was in searing pain, there was pus weeping from my vagina and the health center was closed. I went to the emergency room because I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t take the pain any more and I was worried that something was horribly wrong.

I went to a women’s hospital near my college. After hours in the waiting room, a doctor told me that I had a yeast infection and a urinary tract infection. She gave me Xylocane jelly to relieve the burning, a prescription for Diflucan and an antibiotic for the UTI. She told me to NEVER use colored or flavored condoms. She also told me to use a lot of lubricant to prevent irritation. I wish I had known all that before I had sex. Those shitty condoms should come with a warning label.

The infections cleared and the burning pain dissipated. As soon as I thought I had healed, I attempted sex again. I felt the same agonizing pain upon insertion and burning for hours after sex.

Xylocane jelly became a constant in my life. I used it after every time I had sex. It helped, but it didn’t do anything to treat the problem.

More pressing, was the pain I felt with penetration. Remember what if felt like to get your ears pierced. The jolt of pain as the pointed earring broke through your skin and then the burning that followed as a foreign object hung in your lobe.

Imagine that on a much larger scale. The best way I can describe it is feeling like I was being ripped apart from the inside. And no amount of lubricant lessened that persistent, jarring pain.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I was too ashamed to tell my partner. I wanted to enjoy sex and I wanted to please my partner, so I swallowed my pain. I had sex frequently, even though it hurt, because I wanted to be normal.

The only other relief I got was from soaking in warm water. Problem was: I lived in a dorm with no bathtubs. I filled a drawer from a plastic storage unit with hot water from the bathroom sink almost daily for just a few minutes of relief. It was humiliating to sit on the floor of my dorm room with my ass wedged in a drawer, but it was the only thing I could do to alleviate the pain.