October 6, 2008

I'm Officially Coming Out of the Blogger Closet...

Hi, my name is Quinn and I have vulvodynia and pudendal neuralgia. (Sounds like an AA meeting)

As I've become more active in the online vulvodynia community, I've felt compelled to use my name and not an alias. This is who I am, this is what I live with and I shouldn't be ashamed.

I made the decision to use an alias because I thought my family would be embarassed if they knew I was sharing the woes of my cha cha with the entire world. Over the last year, I've become more open with my family. They all know what's going on down there and a number of family member have read my blog.

I think reading my blog has helped them understand me and what I've been through. The first 4 years were rough both physically and emotionally, but I couldn't talk to anyone about it because I was so ashamed. I didn't think anyone could understand. I thought I was completely alone.

I have a completely different life now. I'm well both physically and emotionally for the first time. The last real demon clouding my mind, annorexia, is in a state heibernation. I'm fortunate to have the love and support of my family.

My mom frequently asks me, "how's your part?" She hates the word vulvodynia because it sounds like vulva, but she like the name pudendal neuralgia, although, she can never remember it. Baby steps, right?

October 2, 2008

I'm Wearing Pants

After many months of flowy skirts and no undies, I've had to dig into my closet for a pair of pants.

It's chilly and blustery outside and I didn't want to be cold. I was freezing my toes off last night at school!

I'm still in some pain from my record/rule-breaking weekend, but the flare seems to be subsiding. As many of you well know, vulvodynia and pudendal neuralgia can make pants seem like torture. I've got a pretty good system: baggy pants, a belt and commando (no panties).

This is tolerable because I stand. As far as my cooty-catcher knows, I'm still in a skirt. There's no contact or pressure from the pants on my goods. Only problem is, I don't have propper footware to complement my outfit.

I bought Dansko's for my job, unfornately they're brown and my dress pants are black and I can't find any black dress socks.

I look like I got dressed in the dark! At least I'm not in any extra pain. I'm learning more and more that there are ways to lead a functional life, pants and all, while living with chronic pelvic pain. It may not be pretty at times, but it works.