September 29, 2008

The Vulvodynia Continues

I strongly believed that my pudendal neuralgia or never damage is a bigger problem than my vulvodynia, but I know better now.

I've gone to a lot of trouble to accommodate my never pain: I stand all day at work, I use the kneeling chair on occasion, I use a cushion in the car, I recline at home and avoid sitting. And for the most part, I've been doing well, certainly better than a year ago when I was in pain every day.

I use a compound for the vulvodynia at times, but sometimes it irritates my urethra, so my usage is sporadic.

My partner has been having some personal issues that have taken a very serious toll on our relationship. Last week was rough, but by Friday we had talked things through and we were back on track.

Makeup sex is the best part of a difficult time and let's just say that I was glowing on Friday night. Virtually no pain. Saturday, we needed the makeup some more, if you get my drift, but I wasn't physically ready.

I've always had the policy with my partner that I need at least a day off to recover, but I'd been doing so well with pain management and we were suddenly doing so well as a couple that I didn't want to stop making up.

I felt pain immediately and I thought it would diminish as we continued but it didn't. I was still in pain hours later. I realize now that by breaking my own rule, I started a flare. Two days later and I'm still in the same amount of pain.

I made a poor decision, but sometimes I just want to forget I have vulvodynia and live in the moment. I have to learn that there will be other moments and while the moment will pass quickly, the pain caused by not respecting my physical needs will last for days.

September 24, 2008

What's You Anti-Drug?

I'm sure you've all seen the ad campaign: What's Your Anti-Drug? The commercials show teens doing things that make them happy or challenge them and make them never want to try drugs. It's a little hoakie, but it stuck in my head.

Last night while I wasn't paying attention in class I posed the question to myself. Of course, in my case, the drugs are painkillers and narcotics legally prescribed by my physician.

I hate taking hardcore pain meds. I take them as a last resort or before going to bed in the homes of knocking out the pain signals. That might not be scientifically accurate, but it's helped me before.

I realized there are a number of things that I do to help reduce my pain or at least distract me from it.

-School is a big one. Even though those awful desks give me some grief, being so busy with school keeps me on track.

-Home improvements. When I hit a low, I usually pick myself up being doing something to improve my house. Even little things leave me so satisfied and content. Last weekend I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the bathroom floor. It looks great and it made me feel great. I may have inadvertently gotten high off the cleaning products, but I'm still going to count that as an anti-drug scenario.

-Being outside. Fall is my favorite time of year. You won't see bluer skies or prettier sunsets all year. The air is crisp and invigorating. I love being surrounded by nature. It makes me feel at peace and grateful for my life.

-A heavy movie. It doesn't even need to be even have to be a particularly good movie, as long as I find myself completely immersed in another world. Action, Fantasy, Thrillers, especially on the big screen. It's really nice to leave my life for a couple hours and be somewhere else.

-Lighting candles and opening the windows at night. This is something I used to do in my single days all the time. Now that I'm cohabitating, I don't have a lot of opportunities to light candles and relax. There isn't a lot of peace in my home. I've vowed to create a sanctuary for myself with candles, relaxation music and a fountain.

-A hot bath with lit candles. Can't get any better than that.

So, what's your anti-drug? What reduces or at least distracts you from your pain?

If you can't think of anything, you've got homework to do. Find something that beings you some peace and makes you happy. There's something out there for everyone. You just have to look.

September 18, 2008

No Online Support Group Meeting Tonight

I'm swamped with school work and I can't host a meeting this month. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience.

The next meeting will be Thursday October 16th.

Hope to see you there.

September 11, 2008

Things I Took For Granted Before Vulvodynia and Pudendal Neuralgia

-Driving a Car
-Working at a Desk
-Seeing a Movie in the Theatre
-Wearing Pants, Especially Jeans
-Wearing Panties
-Going to the Bathroom

This is just a short list of mundane things that people do without thinking.

Living with vulvodynia and pudendal neuralgia, I have to take my vag into account when I do just about everything.

It's important to note that sex is not on this list because I never got to enjoy sex without pain. It was terribly painful from the first time, but now I'm thankful for every chance I have to enjoy sex with less pain.

September 9, 2008

US News and World Report

This morning when I went into the bathroom, I noticed that my boyfriend had left an article open for me to see. It was the cover story from the current issue of US News and World Report titled, Making the Most of the New Sexual Revolution. The final section of the article was dedicated to vulvodynia. I think that's fantastic!

The woman featured in the article had a story so similar to mine. It gave me a lot of comfort and hope. The word is getting out, ladies! The issue is on news stands now. Check it out.