January 8, 2008

Wait, Now I Don't Have Vulvodynia?

My senior year of college I found an “expert” vulvodynia. After poking around for a remarkably short time, she informed me that I didn’t have vulvodynia; I had vulvar vistubulitis, a condition where your vagina is in constant spasm. She told me that was why I had the most unbearable pain with penetration. She said I wasn’t a candidate for surgery or medication, but she told me I would need to undergo physical therapy.

I went home and cried after that appointment. I couldn’t think of anything more humiliating than having to work my vaginal muscles on the fingers of a stranger. That’s incredible private. It’s one thing to lie back, space out and have a pelvic exam, but it’s another thing to be working with the medical professional who has her hand in you.

I didn’t want to do it. I felt completely hopeless. I wanted it to be something straightforward. I know this sounds terrible, but I wanted it to be cancer. Cancer you can treat, cancer you can remove. In my mind, there was nothing I could ever do to make this go away.


Lora said...

When my pain didn't go away with cancer treatment, I cried because what I had wasn't cancer.

The pain IS that bad, I totally understand and feel for you


Guantes De Latex said...

So sad, its really being painful for whats going on but still you have to stay brave against that.

Botiquin De Primeros Auxilios said...

Oh hun! I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through..... hugs!!!!!!!

Harley Street Psychotherapist said...

Well to be honest this is first time before that I had never heard a case like yours and not even know how to help her but i advise she should seek a specialist doctor.