April 16, 2010

Group Therapy Update: Seeing Some Improvement

I haven't mentioned Group in a while and that's simply because I have no complaints.  I'm really enjoying it (if that's the right word) and finding it surprisingly helpful.  There's one woman who is very similar to me, almost to the point of being eerie.  Seeing some of my behaviors in another person makes me want to vigorously work on myself.  I'm finally seeing the qualities in myself that others have described for so many years.

Since I was six years old, I've been described as very serious, very rigid, intense.  I just didn't see it.  I don't think of myself as serious or intense, but watching her, I can easily see how others could perceive me that way.  I'm trying to be more fun and confident in myself.  I'm pushing myself out of my limited comfort zone. 

Last weekend, I reconnected with some old friends.  I hadn't seen them in years, and in one case, the friendship had ended poorly.  I didn't want to go.  I almost backed out of several occasions.  Why?  I don't really have a good answer.  I felt terribly shy and self-conscious.  I was afraid it would be awkward between me and my estranged friend.

I wanted to bring my husband as a crutch.  We was invited.  If he went, I wouldn't be afraid to go. 

I realized that this was something I needed to do on my own.  They were my friends from a time long before my husband and I wanted to challenge myself, overcome a very silly fear.

I went alone and I had the BEST time!  I really let my hair down.  I cleared the air between my estranged friend and I and I'm really hoping to see a lot more of him in the future.  I had a few drinks and stayed out until 3:30 am!  It was great!  I got to be myself and really laugh. 

I work so hard at my job, at school, on my house that I completely forget to have fun every now and then.  I carried my hangover with pride the next day as I repainted my basement floor.  Life is good.   

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