November 6, 2009

Back at Work & Back in Pants

I love the fall. It's my favorite time of year. The cool air and the gray skies make me really happy. It reminds me of when I truly fell in love with my husband. The only problem with the fall is that I have to start wearing pants. Ugh. Any woman with vulvodynia and/or pudendal neuralgia understands the pain of pants.

I've survived my first week back at work and I've had to wear pants and undies every day. Well, actually I couldn't take it today, so I'm going comando. I really can only wear panties for so long in a day before my clit starts complaining.

I'm back to the same old routine: my day begins with pain at a zero with the burning steadily increasing over the course of the work day. Resting at home after work brings the pain level down, but often not back to zero.

If I go to the gym, my pain level continues to increase. I call it waking the kitty. I'll be on the elliptical machine doing cardio when suddenly my kitty wakes up and starts howling. At that point I get off the machine and go sit on the toilet to rest my pudendal nerve. There's no science or medicine behind that, I just feel like maybe it might help. If nothing else I get to air it out after perspiring. Totally gross, I know...

Once I get home, I continue to rest and tender my pudendal nerve until bedtime. The next day, I wake up and repeat the cycle.

My life is like the movie Groundhog Day except with beavers.


Lora said...

you have GOT to get yourself to the Gap and try on the boyfriend pants.

I bought a couple pairs a month or so ago, and my pain levels (the ones affected by pants at least) have been so much less than ever before.

They are $50 a pair, but well worth it.

Beth said...

I feel your pain -- literally!!
As I am not working right now, I am able to spend my days in pajama pants or loose sweats.
I was able to wear a pair of jeans on Halloween, albeit a size too big and sans panties. I haven't worn underwear in 3 years.

I haven't kept up with your profile as to if you've had a more specific diagnosis, but IF IF IF your pudendal nerve truly is trapped, I would have to advise against the elliptical -- or anything that causes hip flexion.

But maybe that's just Dr. Antolak's opinion. I am also researching the connection between the pelvic floor and the jaw.

Anonymous said...

Dear Quinn,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly on this difficult subject.

This thought come as a bit of a surprise, but it may be that vulvodynia is simply a natural bodily response to intercourse with a circumcised male partner. Kristen O'Hara has written an excellent book called Sex as Nature Intended It, which illustrates in full anatomical detail why this is so, and why so many women are in pain.

Because so many American men are circumcised, it follows that many American women are, sadly, experiencing this awful pain.

Foreskin restoration is a non-surgical procedure that allows the man to recover lost sensitivity and allows the couple to find deeper fulfillment.

For more information, there is Kristen O'Hara's site (, the National Organization for Restoring Men (, and Ron Low's site on the TLC tugger (

It is of course possible that vulvodynia has other causes.

Thank you so much for listening, and take very good care.

the girl with pain "down there" said...

I laughed outloud when I read about "waking the kitty". Sometimes it's good to find humor even in a sucky situation. I really enjoy your blog.

Anonymous said...

normal people will never understand the struggle when you have to wear uncomfy jeans/pants when you have vulvodynia :( I can't look at all these girls wearing thight shorts in summer and I can't even put on jeans sometimes..