September 25, 2009

Vulvodynia VS The Wedding Dress

I've been cool as a cucumber through this year of wedding planning. I haven't been stressed about anything until Tuesday. That night I went for my last dress fitting. It was a balmy day and my seamstress didn't have the air conditioning on in her house. It felt a little stuffy, but not uncomfortable.

Once the dress was on, it was a different story. My dress is large. I have a huge crinoline and a ball grown skirt. There have to be at least 30 layers of fabric between my lady business and the outside world. I started to get hot in my dress and my flower began to wilt.

I hadn't thought about being hot in the dress. I started to feel very anxious. If I'm hot in that dress, I'm going to sweat. If I sweat too much, I could develop a yeast infection or a spike in lactobacillus or a smegma build up. All of which could lead to days and even weeks of pain.

One night of sweaty kitty could ruin my wedding night and even my entire honeymoon. Would you want to spend 8 hours walking in a foreign city if your crotch was on fire?

I started to feel hopeless and overwhelmed. Normal women don't have to worry about this nasty crap on their wedding day. It's not fair. I hate my vagina sometimes.

On the car ride home I curled up in a little ball. I felt powerless. My mom tried to comfort me. She told me to request that the AC be on at the reception location.

Since that night of panic, I've picked myself up and started strategizing. I made the request for AC and they were happy to oblige at the reception site. I'm going to pack a hand-held fan and baby powder in my bag along with a few pairs of cotton panties.

I don't really wear panties of any kind because the pressure irritates my clit. I purchased some hipster panties that have some extra clam room. I'm going to try wearing them a few times and see how my clit manages.

I don't want my stupid crippled vagina to ruin my big night. I'm afraid I'm going to have to periodically sneak away to air out my goods. I really hope it doesn't come to that.


Lora said...

This was SUCH an issue when I got married. I had on giant cotton granny panties underneath, and was constantly airing out my crotch. Communication with bridesmaids is KEY in all this.

I'll be thinking of you...

Quinn said...

What exactly did you tell your bridesmaids? Did they help you air things out? How did you air things out?