I took a few days off to go to the beach, and it did wonders for my nerve flare. I got to relax and keep my body in positions that didn't agitate my pudendal neuralgia. I am feeling so much better.
I even managed to spend a few hours a day in a bathing suite without irritating my clit! I think the secret was wearing a bathing suite with a little skirt attached. I was able to keep the crotch fabric away from my goods without anyone noticing my droopy drawers.
When I got back from the beach I resolved to continue to take better care of myself. I stopped where my wedge sandles to work. I'm wearing my flat Danskos. They may not look the best with a skirt, but frankly my deli meat is more important.
I'm standing more at the office and not cheating my crouching on a desk chair. It kills my knees and eventually my nerve starts to flare. Even standing for too long gets it going, but there's no question, standing is better than sitting.
I've avoiding using my compound lately because I didn't want to put anything nerve my inflamed urethra. The crazy thing is I've been able to have virtually pain-free sex without using the compound! Maybe the compound was doing more harm than good.
I'm going to avoid it for as long as I can. We'll see what happens.
August 26, 2009
August 13, 2009
August 5, 2009
Happy F-ing Birthday
Monday was my birthday. I got to spend part of my "special day" at my doctor's office. My urethral pain has persisted on and off for more than three weeks. I've also had random bouts of swelling in my clit. I wanted to get checked out and find out what I needed to do to make it better.
My doctor had just gotten back from a vacation and I could tell he didn't want to be back. I was the last patient of the day and it seemed like everyone wanted to just get out of there.
When he called me into his office, I told him my symptoms. He then told me to go to the exam room and get undressed from the waist down. I know this routine by heart. He used the speculum to take a sample and then used his finger to feel the length of my urethra. I was in agony.
After taking a look at all my samples he met me back in his office. He told me that everything looked normal so it had to be a nerve flare. The problem is, there's no trauma I can attribute it to. Why is it happening now? My first thought was, "Oh God, it's getting worse." I started to fight back tears.
For once, my doctor really didn't have any answers. He didn't have a good idea of how to combat the problem. He told me the objective was to knock out the pain long enough to quiet the nerve.
He told me I could apply Lidocane to the opening of the urethra, if that didn't work, I could use a syringe and inject the Lidocane directly into the urethra. If the Lidocane fails he could give me a shot right in that area. All of these options sounded terrible. I couldn't imagine putting anything in there. I was in so much pain just from his exam that I couldn't sit.
I was troubled because it seemed that he really didn't know what to do with me. What's worse, he didn't have much patience. He was rather flip about the whole thing. He told me that if my condition were getting worse, most likely, the pain would be everywhere and not focused in one spot.
That was of no comfort to me. I cried to entire ride home. I felt so scared and discouraged. I can normally deal with the pain and still have a normal sex life, but this is so bad it's made me gun shy. I'm afraid to try on a good day.
My doctor had just gotten back from a vacation and I could tell he didn't want to be back. I was the last patient of the day and it seemed like everyone wanted to just get out of there.
When he called me into his office, I told him my symptoms. He then told me to go to the exam room and get undressed from the waist down. I know this routine by heart. He used the speculum to take a sample and then used his finger to feel the length of my urethra. I was in agony.
After taking a look at all my samples he met me back in his office. He told me that everything looked normal so it had to be a nerve flare. The problem is, there's no trauma I can attribute it to. Why is it happening now? My first thought was, "Oh God, it's getting worse." I started to fight back tears.
For once, my doctor really didn't have any answers. He didn't have a good idea of how to combat the problem. He told me the objective was to knock out the pain long enough to quiet the nerve.
He told me I could apply Lidocane to the opening of the urethra, if that didn't work, I could use a syringe and inject the Lidocane directly into the urethra. If the Lidocane fails he could give me a shot right in that area. All of these options sounded terrible. I couldn't imagine putting anything in there. I was in so much pain just from his exam that I couldn't sit.
I was troubled because it seemed that he really didn't know what to do with me. What's worse, he didn't have much patience. He was rather flip about the whole thing. He told me that if my condition were getting worse, most likely, the pain would be everywhere and not focused in one spot.
That was of no comfort to me. I cried to entire ride home. I felt so scared and discouraged. I can normally deal with the pain and still have a normal sex life, but this is so bad it's made me gun shy. I'm afraid to try on a good day.
July 28, 2009
Serious Design Flaw
On more than one occasion I've discovered that my clit was tender and swollen. Upon a thorough examination I've always found a buildup of shed cells stuck in one of the many nooks and crannies. Why are there so many folds down there? How do those folds benefit us?
Men would have a similar problem, but we circumcise them. In the USA, we take away the ugly extra folds of the foreskin that could cause hygiene problems. Why can't I get a little taken off the top? I'm not talking about full female circumcision. That's a horrific practice. I would just appreciate having my clit opened up a bit so stuff wouldn't get stuck in there.
I woke up in pain this morning. Usually I'm pain free in the morning, but today my clit feels raw and the opening of my urethra burns. The worst part is the urethral burning seems to be independent of peeing. What is going on down there?!?!?
I can't get comfortable and I have a painfully (yes, pun intended) long day. I have class until 10pm on top of a full day at the office. I'm going to go crazy. I can't skip it. It's the last class before the final, plus I have a quiz.
Sometimes, I wish I could just leave my vagina at home.
Men would have a similar problem, but we circumcise them. In the USA, we take away the ugly extra folds of the foreskin that could cause hygiene problems. Why can't I get a little taken off the top? I'm not talking about full female circumcision. That's a horrific practice. I would just appreciate having my clit opened up a bit so stuff wouldn't get stuck in there.
I woke up in pain this morning. Usually I'm pain free in the morning, but today my clit feels raw and the opening of my urethra burns. The worst part is the urethral burning seems to be independent of peeing. What is going on down there?!?!?
I can't get comfortable and I have a painfully (yes, pun intended) long day. I have class until 10pm on top of a full day at the office. I'm going to go crazy. I can't skip it. It's the last class before the final, plus I have a quiz.
Sometimes, I wish I could just leave my vagina at home.
July 21, 2009
The Pee Pain Cleared Up
On Friday night my partner and I were packing for a weekend with his family. We got a little distracted by each other and wound up getting it on. There was a shot of pain through my urethra at the beginning. The pain gave way to pleasure and relaxation. It has been about a week and a half since our last encounter. I needed it.
Unfortunately because my area was out of whack, I didn't use my compound all week. That became painfully obvious when I went to clean off. The burning was unbelievable. I thought, "God is this what it was like in college? No wonder I cried every time I had sex!" Ouch! I used some lidocaine to numb the burning. My urethra was also in flames.
I worried that I had crippled myself for the entire weekend. I took have a vicodin before we got on the road. It was very difficult to find a comfortable position in the car. I squirmed around a lot, hoping my partner wouldn't notice. Lucky for me, he can be utterly oblivious.
When I went to bed that night, I applied the compound and took another vicodin. In the morning I was much better. I'm not sure how sex and a drug cocktail put an end to my urethral pain, but I'm grateful to be better.
Unfortunately because my area was out of whack, I didn't use my compound all week. That became painfully obvious when I went to clean off. The burning was unbelievable. I thought, "God is this what it was like in college? No wonder I cried every time I had sex!" Ouch! I used some lidocaine to numb the burning. My urethra was also in flames.
I worried that I had crippled myself for the entire weekend. I took have a vicodin before we got on the road. It was very difficult to find a comfortable position in the car. I squirmed around a lot, hoping my partner wouldn't notice. Lucky for me, he can be utterly oblivious.
When I went to bed that night, I applied the compound and took another vicodin. In the morning I was much better. I'm not sure how sex and a drug cocktail put an end to my urethral pain, but I'm grateful to be better.
July 17, 2009
It Hurts After I Pee
Since last Saturday I've had a sharp pain in my urethra after I pee. It feels like someone stuck a knitting needle in there. It's very uncomfortable. I haven't found a position that alleviates it, but I have found lying down in certain positions makes the pain worse. Strange.
So the question is: do I have a nerve flare concentrated in my urethra or do I have an infection that is being magnified by my pudendal neuralgia? I really don't know. I don't have any other UTI symptoms, like urgency or increased frequency.
There have been times when I've had sex in certain positions and the opening of my urethra has been hit or rubbed the wrong way. The pain is similar, but it wasn't linked to peeing. This time, there was no sexual trauma.
I don't know what could have brought it on besides the summer heat. Let's face it ladies, on a hot day, you're going to sweat down there. Pink part perspiration has caused me a lot of problems lately.
When my kitty gets overheated, my lactobacillus population increases causing burning similar to a yeast infection.
Could my hot muff have caused my urethral pain?
I'm drinking cranberry juice and hoping it will go away on it's own. I just saw my doctor last week. If it's not better by Monday I'll call. This is contrary to my, "Why Suffer," motto, but it's good to be sure you need medical assistance first.
I haven't been able to have sex all week and, of course, it has to be the week my partner has eyes for me. Hopefully he'll still be hot for me when this goes away. Maybe I'm just more appealing when he can't have me... or I'm not asking for it...
There might be a lesson in all this.
So the question is: do I have a nerve flare concentrated in my urethra or do I have an infection that is being magnified by my pudendal neuralgia? I really don't know. I don't have any other UTI symptoms, like urgency or increased frequency.
There have been times when I've had sex in certain positions and the opening of my urethra has been hit or rubbed the wrong way. The pain is similar, but it wasn't linked to peeing. This time, there was no sexual trauma.
I don't know what could have brought it on besides the summer heat. Let's face it ladies, on a hot day, you're going to sweat down there. Pink part perspiration has caused me a lot of problems lately.
When my kitty gets overheated, my lactobacillus population increases causing burning similar to a yeast infection.
Could my hot muff have caused my urethral pain?
I'm drinking cranberry juice and hoping it will go away on it's own. I just saw my doctor last week. If it's not better by Monday I'll call. This is contrary to my, "Why Suffer," motto, but it's good to be sure you need medical assistance first.
I haven't been able to have sex all week and, of course, it has to be the week my partner has eyes for me. Hopefully he'll still be hot for me when this goes away. Maybe I'm just more appealing when he can't have me... or I'm not asking for it...
There might be a lesson in all this.
July 11, 2009
Just to Clarify
I believe you have to love your partner, warts and all. I'm far from perfect and so is he. At times this blog becomes my arena to bitch late at night about a problem that we're having. I'm very grateful to have a place to vent. I really need it sometimes.
My partner is unfairly represented on this blog because I don't write about the good stuff. That's not what this blog is about. This blog is about my chronic pelvic pain and that pain plays a role in my relationship at times.
My partner is an incredible man, with a good heart. I'm truly blessed to have found him. I would not be where I am without his positive influence on my life. I have never been so happy or so well. He brings out the good in me that I didn't know was there. He supports my dreams and he believes in me. He makes me happy. Thinking about him makes me smile. Even after three years, I still get starry eyed.
I can't wait to be his wife. I am so proud to have him.
My partner is unfairly represented on this blog because I don't write about the good stuff. That's not what this blog is about. This blog is about my chronic pelvic pain and that pain plays a role in my relationship at times.
My partner is an incredible man, with a good heart. I'm truly blessed to have found him. I would not be where I am without his positive influence on my life. I have never been so happy or so well. He brings out the good in me that I didn't know was there. He supports my dreams and he believes in me. He makes me happy. Thinking about him makes me smile. Even after three years, I still get starry eyed.
I can't wait to be his wife. I am so proud to have him.
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