Successful Pudendal Nerve Block

I thought the heat and the bathing suites were going to do me in, but in the end it was the actual trip that caused me pain.  It took us more than four hours to get to and from the beach.  Even though I was sitting on my cushion, my pudendal nerve flared. 

I started to feel pain in the second hour in the car.  I tried to shift around and find a comfortable position without much luck.  I had intermittent pudendal nerve pain during the holiday weekend, but I wasn't too worried.

After I returned to work, I realized I was in a flare.  Every day it got worse.  The pain was constant.  There was no position I could get into the brought me relief.  By Thursday, every step I took caused a shock of pain.  I've never had that before.  The pain was concentrated around the opening of my urethra.  The area was burning. 

After a trip the gym on Thursday, I knew I was in trouble.  The pain got so much worse after I did a series of sit ups. 

The next day I saw my doctor who suggested a nerve block.  He said it could really help with an acute flare.  He performed an extremely painful vaginal nerve block.  I couldn't help but cry as he located the nerve canal and performed the injections. 

Within a few hours, the tears were worth it, because the area was completely numb.  I wasn't in pain.  I continued to walk gingerly for the next few days, but the nerve block really seemed to knock out the flare. 

Warm Weather Blues

I'm enjoying the 4th of July weekend at the beach, but summer weather presents a lot of problems for someone living with vulvodynia and pudendal neuralgia.  There are even more accommodations to make to stay comfortable. 

I typically can't wear panties.  The pressure of even flimsy cotton panties again my clit causes a great deal of irritation.  If I have to wear panties, I can only wear them for a limited period of time.  In the summer, the desire to wear panties increases a great deal because of sweating.  I know, totally gross, but I want to be honest here.  Naturally if it's hot and humid, areas of your body that overlap are going to perspire.  This makes panties really appealing. 

On a really hot day I'll wear panties and powder my thighs.  I usually can't go a few hours without having to take them off.  Other days if my love button is especially cranky, I'll just powder my thighs and hope for the best.  I keep a pair of panties in a sunglasses case in my purse just in case I can't stand it. 

The other day my bean was raw and angry.  I went to the freezer for some ice and discovered a small blue ice pack that was just the right size.  It felt good to have the extreme cold on my angry folds.

 

  Take all these issues and put them on the beach and what do you get?  A problem.  If you want to wear a bathing suite, you're just asking for trouble.  I just spent the afternoon on the beach and my kitty is not happy with me.  I try to create a little space between the bathing suite fabric and my lady bits.  It helps a little bit.  

Despite the discomfort, I'd rather have a weekend on the beach with an angry kitty. 

I'm Not Good With Change

The closer I get to nursing school, the more fear and doubt I have.  I'm scared that I won't make it through school.  I'm scared that I'll have anxiety attacks at the sight of blood.  I'm scared of completely changing careers.  Once I start this program, there's no turning back. 

Over the past week, I've received a few emails from readers here that reminded me why I've come this far.  There are so many women who need help and I want to be able to help in a professional capacity.  The only way that's going to happen is if I get through nursing school and get two more degrees under my belt. 

All Quiet on the Vagina Front

My vulvodynia and pudendal neuralgia have been under control the last couple weeks.  I've been able to get through an entire day at work without pain!  I think it's because I'm splitting my time between sitting on my cushion and standing. 

I still have pain when I do strenuous work or go to the gym.  Last weekend, my husband used his favorite wedding gift, a chain saw, on some branches that have been cluttering our yard for a year.  I carried the smaller logs and put them in a pile in the corner of the yard.  I also scavenged the yard for sticks, creating a separate pile for them.  The repetitive motion of bending and lifting caused my pudendal nerve to flare.  I had to stop that activity and I haven't gone back.   

When my body starts talking, I drop what I'm doing and listen.  It's just not worth it to push myself to do that extra five minutes on the elliptical or pick up that last log in the yard.  The price is just too high.  I've found a good routine that allows me to live a pretty normal life and avoid causing myself pain as much as possible.  There's always some pain with sex, but it's manageable.  With the compound back in my system, there is less burning pain after sex. 

I'm content with my holding pattern.  We'll see how long it lasts. 

Crowded

Well the idea of living with my parents while we try to sell our house and while I'm in school seemed like a good idea when they were on vacation, but they've been back for a week now and I have one major problem: SEX!

We can't have sex!  Our bedrooms share a wall and I have a feeling my husband isn't cool enough to creep down to the living room late at night for a little fun.  He's a prude.  To make matters worse, they're retired, so at least one of them is home all the time. 

Honestly, it's only a minor complaint.  We can always have rendezvouses at our house.  We'll see. 

Group Therapy Update: Seeing Some Improvement

I haven't mentioned Group in a while and that's simply because I have no complaints.  I'm really enjoying it (if that's the right word) and finding it surprisingly helpful.  There's one woman who is very similar to me, almost to the point of being eerie.  Seeing some of my behaviors in another person makes me want to vigorously work on myself.  I'm finally seeing the qualities in myself that others have described for so many years.

Since I was six years old, I've been described as very serious, very rigid, intense.  I just didn't see it.  I don't think of myself as serious or intense, but watching her, I can easily see how others could perceive me that way.  I'm trying to be more fun and confident in myself.  I'm pushing myself out of my limited comfort zone. 

Last weekend, I reconnected with some old friends.  I hadn't seen them in years, and in one case, the friendship had ended poorly.  I didn't want to go.  I almost backed out of several occasions.  Why?  I don't really have a good answer.  I felt terribly shy and self-conscious.  I was afraid it would be awkward between me and my estranged friend.

I wanted to bring my husband as a crutch.  We was invited.  If he went, I wouldn't be afraid to go. 

I realized that this was something I needed to do on my own.  They were my friends from a time long before my husband and I wanted to challenge myself, overcome a very silly fear.

I went alone and I had the BEST time!  I really let my hair down.  I cleared the air between my estranged friend and I and I'm really hoping to see a lot more of him in the future.  I had a few drinks and stayed out until 3:30 am!  It was great!  I got to be myself and really laugh. 

I work so hard at my job, at school, on my house that I completely forget to have fun every now and then.  I carried my hangover with pride the next day as I repainted my basement floor.  Life is good.   

Visiting a Nursing School

I found out last Thursday I've been accepted to both schools to which I applied!  I now have a difficult choice to make.  I'm so excited to have a choice. 

I'm visiting one school today to take a tour of their facilities and get more details about their program.  This particular school offers a Master's of Science in Nursing for second degree applicants who satisfy the prerequisites.  The focus is a little different than a basic BS in Nursing and I want to know how it compares. 

I need to make an informed decision.  In the BS program at the other school, I would be a big fish in a small pond.  I think I could do very well.  In the MS program I would be plankton floating in a vast ocean. 

More importantly, the BS programs offers a great deal of prep for the NCLEX exam.  You can't be a nurse without successfully passing this exam.  I want to know how much the other school focuses on this exam.

Although these factors are influential, unfortunately, the most important factor is money.  I am still waiting to receive my financial aid packages from both schools.  Regardless of which school is best, I have to choose the school that offers me the best deal.  I still have another degree to go before I can become a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner.  I can't rack up all my debt with this one degree and I don't want to be forced to take out private loans.  

My life is is still very much in limbo.  It will be a few more weeks before I receive my financial aid; until then I won't know where I'm going.